Facing a Shut Gate

Large-Closed-Gates-Empire-Mine

Sensei has announced that there will be an uchi-deshi program at our dojo, beginning in mid-summer [this was in 2011]. You can contact him for details (via the Aikido of San Diego website) if you are interested in participating.

It looks to me like a rare and valuable opportunity to train intensively, deepen one’s understanding of Aikido, learn to teach, test one’s own limits, and discover new possibilities, all under the guidance of a truly gifted teacher.

It also looks to me like a right of passage. Forging, like seeing combat, for a future military officer. A gateway. How one moves from casual student to serious practitioner.

Right now I’m not in a place to walk through that gateway. I don’t know if I ever will be. I hope, maybe, somehow, someday… There’s a little fear and frustration about that. What if I’m not able? What if it’s not there? A sense of loss. And there’s reminding myself that upset from thwarted intention just points to a commitment.

It’s OK, though. There are cracks to peek through, high places where one can see over, and a lot of space to explore on this side of the wall. For now.

[Added the next day…] And now I’m seeing that there is more than one gate. Not feeling so stuck on this side. :-)

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Just a few of the nearly 40 folks from the seminar who went to dinner tonight at Todai. Left to right, Dave, from Aiki Budokan in Houston, Mr. Bill, from Aikido of Santa Cruz, Cheryle, who levitates uke up off the mat after kotegaeshi, Tom Haines Sensei and John, both part of a 5-6 person contingent from from Arizona Aikido. Oh, and me.

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Getting ready for tonight’s tanto class with Doran Sensei. Lots of really interesting knife defenses and take-aways. Mostly tanto versus tanto. Some tanto versus unarmed, and some tanto versus kicking. Tomorrow night’s tanto class is with Tissier Sensei, and Sunday’s is with Ikeda Sensei.

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Students at Aikido of San Diego, listening to Sensei speaking about harmony, cooperation, and blending. [photo by Michael Eskin]

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